10 Film Sequels And Spin-Offs That Should Never Have Happened
8. Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers
Michael Myers no longer resembles John Carpenters creation: having been stabbed, blinded, blown up, run down and hit by 500 rounds of ammunition, hes now a comic book super villain with an adamantium skeleton and a unique healing ability Wolverine in a Halloween mask.
Fortunately, The Curse Of Michael Myers has a plausible explanation for this. All along, Mikey was being manipulated by a group of druids who contacted him using a constellation of stars that only appears on Halloween. The constellation is in the shape of a thorn, so the symbol is tattooed on the wrist of every member, including Myers, something every previous and future movie forgets to mention.
Just so were clear, though, these are not the druids of Iron Age Britain but Hollywood Bullsh*t Druids who live in an ultra-secret underground bunker (accessible through an unlocked and unguarded door marked Maximum Security), dress like Emperor Palpatine and talk in the solemn manner of low-rent movie villains. By sending Myers to kill teenagers every October 31st, they intend to associate Halloween in everyones mind with a horrific event.
Which they do.