10 Superheroes The World Needs Right Now
6. Triton The Archangel
When Satan and his minions arrive on Earth to wreak havoc, who you gonna call? How about Triton The Archangel, who battles the forces of darkness while wearing a leather thong?
Cleverly disguised as a rock star named John Triton (great porn name), the Archangel arrives at a recording studio with his band and faster than you can say “evil glove puppets”, they’re being attacked by demons that look like they belong on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Everyone ends up slaughtered except Triton, who suddenly transforms from a mild-mannered rocker into a bare-chested ass kicker with a drag queen hairdo.
During this ‘climactic’ encounter, Triton is pelted with plastic starfish while one of his generic rock numbers screeches on the soundtrack to the chagrin of Satan, who has much better tunes than this. “You win this time!” the demon concedes, and vanishes in purple smoke.
Unfortunately, their rematch was postponed as Triton subsequently took a sabbatical from acting, meaning that the sequel, Great Balls Of Hellfire, was never to be.