10. Ghost Rider
Why It Was Terrible: Johnny Blaze decided to work late that night on one of his super cool bikes that he keeps in a small town circus tent. The knowledge of his father's progressive cancer is keeping him awake. All at once the lights outside blow their bulbs one after another as the Devil enters the tent to offer Johnny a deal. Lucifer makes no attempt to hide his identity, circling around Johnny in the room like a shark. Lightening strikes outside and the devil's shadow is thrown against the tent canvas revealing... the dumbest looking silhouette cut out we've ever seen. Apparently in this Ghost Rider's universe when Satan isn't busy being Peter Fonda he looks like the worst Muppet ever invented crossed with a retarded Disney character. The movie just gets better from there. Not only does the Rider's CGI look awful, like a lost soul from the 1993 video game Doom 3D, but when he grabs his bike and yowls for the power to make it transform I think the only word on the audience's mind was really? Really man? Ghost Rider also sports one of the lamest comic book villain adaptations in the Marvel cinematic universe. Blackheart is not intimidating, at all, traipsing around in a Silent Bob trench coat and purring, "My name is le-e-e-g-i-o-n-n-n... for we are... m-a-a-a-n-y-y-y." If I had written the script (not saying Marvel is pounding down my door to do so) this is the part where I would have made Nicholas Cage come back with, "Oh yeah, Pucifer? Why don't you come over then and let me show you what a thousand punches to the nads feels like."
Why You Should Revisit: Nicolas Cage is hilarious in this movie. It's not always on purpose, but watching him transform into the Rider and realizing that without the special effects it's really just him screaming and waving his hands around is quite entertaining. It gets even better in the sequel, Spirit of Vengeance. Besides that motorcycle crashes, Sam Elliot moments, chain whips, and flaming skulls are all a plus.