7. The Punisher: Dolph Lundgren Version
Why It Was Terrible: This film does almost nothing to actually build up the character of Frank Castle. We know he is the Punisher, lives in the sewers, and the police, especially his old partner, are after him for being a terrifying vigilante. However, except for that we don't get much else character development for the rest of the movie. It also doesn't help that Castle almost never speaks words instead relying on his guns and the mountains of bodies to do the talking. Honestly, most of the time we see the Punisher he is only killing people. It's not really an origin story and no one except maybe Frank's friend seem to have an emotional arc. Besides that the film ends with a butt naked Dolph meditating in front of fireplace in the sewers drolling, "The wicked must be punished." I would love to meet who we have to thank for that idea.
Why You Should Revisit: This movie might have reached some sort of cult status if it hadn't been a disappointing Punisher film. It is the perfect mix of 80s sleaze and R rated action. Dark haired Dolph roars around on his giant motorcycle, carrying gigantic customized pistols, prowling for those who elude justice. Really just an hour and a half of an action hero blowing away hundreds of bad guys. What's wrong with that?