10. Speed (1994)
Speed is the epitome of the enjoyable "terrible" movie. It's a "Murphy's Law" action flick that grabs you by the shirt with every mishap, however cliche. The dialogue is cheesy, outcomes predictable, and even the always intense Dennis Hopper seems a little silly as he navigates the familiar plot points. The movie opens amidst police sirens when an unmarked cop car carrying our hero buddy-cops comes flying over the camera, having just gotten air on a hill. Why this was included in what one might presume to be a serious action movie after having already be parodied nearly a decade earlier in Ferris Bueller's Day Off is certainly perplexing. As the cold open continues, we are introduced to yet another familiar scenario: Hostages in an elevator dangling precariously over certain death. Of course, they barely manage to save all those trapped and the last woman out, slowed by her paralyzing fear, loses a shoe as the falling elevator catches it. Sphew! That was close. The scene ends as our stock villain makes a narrow escape. You probably can't help but chuckle as he takes the time to stop in the doorway and let out one last, cliche maniacal laugh. This gives me an idea: Has anybody out there made a video on youTube yet called, "Dennis Hopper laughing in Speed"? After an unspecified amount of time, we find our now decorated hero (Keanu Reeves) in a coffee shop. Enter one of my favorite stock characters of all time: The one we're manipulated into liking in mere seconds just so he can be killed off immediately. The Simpsons parodied this trope in their ongoing McBain series: His partner is two-days away from retirement, a daughter about to graduate college, and - as soon as the catch the bad guy - he and his wife are going to sail around the world in a boat called "The Live-4-Ever." All of this is divulged just before a hitman shoots, misses McBain, and kills the partner instead. "This time, it's personal." Speed continues with its "anything that can go wrong will go wrong" plot as Keanu boards a bus that must stay above 50mph, otherwise triggering a bomb attached to the undercarriage. Setting the scene on public transportation allows for a slew of characters including two "Oh crap" archetypes whose only purpose is to provide cheap exposition and cue the audience in to how intense the action on the screen is. One of them even fills the role of the fish-out-of-water tourist. How's that for efficiency? Other cliches include the ever-popular 90's sassy and strong female lead, with a tacked on love-story sub-plot for good measure, objects that defy the laws of physics for the sake of plot, ticking time-bombs, phone-tapping, cat and mouse scenarios, exploring hero and villain as facets of the same person, lots of explosions whenever possible and an even bigger "this time it's personal" death, raising the stakes right at the movie's midpoint. Oh, yeah. And maniacal laughter.