10 Terrifying Moments In Terrible Horror Movies
3. The Opening - Friday The 13th (2009)
What was that about Platinum Dunes, you ask?
Are we done discussing overpaid music video producer Michael Bay’s ill-fated foray into remaking classic horrors of earlier eras? Of course not!
It may be a decade since their last cinematic outing, but we’re
still a bit bitter about what Bay’s production company did to the legacy of our
boy Jason Voorhees, so hear us out here. From casting the worst Gilmore Girls
boyfriend as its lead through to wasting Disturbia’s Aaron Yoo in a thankless
supporting role, the 2009 redo of Friday the 13th has little going
for it beyond being a great way to annoy fans of the franchise by reminding
them this scare-free dud exists.
Except—the film’s two opening sequences (what a good sign, when a film starts twice) are actually stellar distillations of what makes the series so solid, eschewing any attempts at building tension or anything resembling character development in favour of quickly recapping Mrs Voorhees’ gory end before introducing some unlikeable teens—and immediately brutally offing them all. It’s a bracing shock which gives us better Jason action than anything in the film that follows, and is worth watching as a short film version of the original—just turn it off after the first twenty minutes.