10 Things To Avoid If You Want To Survive A Slasher Movie

6. Getting Laid

Girl In Woods
Paramount Pictures

You can never have sex. Sex equals death.

This is the cardinal rule of surviving any horror film. How many times have we perversely watched horny teenagers sneak off into the woods for a little sexy time only to be thwarted by an axe to the face just as they're about to climax? You can see the classic '90s slasher, Scream as a reminder.

The key message here is that those bad eggs who choose to go against the grain deservedly get axed, while the morally-straight and virtuous ones survive.

The entire cast of randy teen camp in Friday The 13th came to their demise in a similar fashion. They are dismembered one by one as they sneak off to earn the film its R rating, most only living a few minutes past their trysts before they're brutally butchered like cattle.

In short, if you enjoy being among the living and want to favour your chances of survival, remember to always keep your legs closed and your eyes open. Just as Psycho proved, even showers aren’t safe. So it's best to bathe clothed.

Contributor
Contributor

Part time Film Writer/Analyst and Digital Marketing ninja! I live in Vienna, Austria with my 2 cats, Winston Church and Mr. Jingles :)