What went wrong with the recent big screen versions of both Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? A succinct answer would be Michael Bay. A purveyor of all things leering, Bay's robots-in-disguise movies have succumbed to his usual audience-wearing down tropes, while TMNT, which is yet to hit British shores, reportedly falls into many of the same traps. Although that's not what fans of the original series would say. In their mind the real root of the problem is that the heroes have been reimagined. There's even defences of Bay's Transformers out there stating that if you get past the angular take on the Autobots there's stuff in the films to enjoy. Ignoring that it's that 'stuff' that's the real issue, quite how the robots are disguised has little effect on the film's quality. Do you know why it isn't an adaptation issue? Because the idea isn't some fabled, Gatsby-level work. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn't Darren Aronofsky mucking about with the Bible, but the director of Battle: LA dicking around with some nineties nostalgia. Mutant turtles who are ninjas? Robots that transform into cars? They're bonkers and to get hung up on the confused mythology of it all misses the fact that these films are merely poorly made. It feels a particularly strange complaint in Turtle's case given that since that franchise's very early days it's been twisted and reinvented multiple times producing different takes on it; the immensely popular cartoon is far from the base source. What can you do: Take a step back and actually evaluate why a film is bad.
