Incredible news, everyone: it's the midpoint of 2019, Adam Sandler has a new movie out and it's somehow NOT in either the most disappointing or the flatout worst movie rankings of the year. Congratulations, Netflix, your record-breaking stream-hoover has justified its existence.
Or maybe that's just more of a reflection of how bad the bottom of this year's cinematic barrel has been?
While there have been some incredible highs, like Avengers: Endgame, the brilliantly charming Booksmart and all manner of wonderful documentaries, it's hard not to think that the chasm between the top and the bottom now yawns like you probably did watching Dark Phoenix. Bit of a spoiler there.
Anyway, here's what floated on the top of the cinematic toilet bowl in the first half of 2019...
There was probably a time for a Shaft sequel and you can sort of understand the appeal of bringing Samuel L Jackson back for one of his most recognisable roles, but this just wasn't it, chief.
After sitting on ice for almost twenty years, John Shaft returned looking - let's face it - almost as immaculate and youthful as he did in 1999 thanks to Jackson's impossibly perfect genetics. The only problem is, he seems to have arrived believing he's still in 1999 and the audience still exists for his movie exactly as it was back then.
There's some attempt to update the character and his world, but it's so wayward that the film's identity is horribly confused. And yes, while the multi-generational fight sequence at the end is good fun, the whole thing is obviously more cheaply made and feels like action movies left it behind.