10 Worst Netflix Movies

9. The Cloverfield Paradox

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Every single streaming service has at least one drama series or movie about being in the depths of space because, frankly, it's cheap to shoot something where you only have to account for like, 3 rooms, and the world outside quite literally doesn't exist.

What I'm trying to say here is that there's basically zero reason to watch The Cloverfield Paradox if you're in a "space but spoopy" mood.

Originally penned as its own original property but re-edited during production when J. J. Abrams was brought on so that it could it into the larger eponymous Cloverfield universe, it's easy to blame all of this film's shortcomings on Abrams because - well, that's like one of the internet's favorite hobbies - but truth be told, the problems with this film's script run so deep that there's no way they weren't there originally.

If the film had just turned into an Alien riff, that would be fine, god knows any anime fan with a love of the classics is used to that by now. But the script just drags the whole admittedly impressive production down. The incredible cast does what they can but that's like saying the firemen do what they can when a car explodes. Sure they can put out the fire and save the people, but there's still the matter of the burning wreck left behind.

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John Tibbetts is a novelist in theory, a Whatculture contributor in practice, and a nerd all around who loves talking about movies, TV, anime, and video games more than he loves breathing. Which might be a problem in the long term, but eh, who can think that far ahead?