Have there really been three Expendables movies already? Whilst the first installment in this somewhat self-aware, balls to the wall action franchise left us feeling nostalgic in the best possible way, the second reduced us to quips of: "Just die already." Imagine a third movie, then, that renders itself so far along the self-aware scale that it comes full circle, sucking out all the irony in the process. The result? A bland, forgettable nail in the coffin that fails to justify its existence in any capacity. You have to sort of admire Sylvester Stallone for the gusto it must have taken to bring in so many iconic action stars from back in the day: Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson, all in one movie? Props. And yet the weirdest thing about The Expendables 3 is that it somehow manages to take itself far too seriously, and - in the process of trying to be too many things at once - forgets to be any fun. It also commits the most cardinal and unforgivable cinematic sin of all: it's terribly boring.
Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.
