A film whose notoriety derives entirely from its depiction of an obsessive sexual relationship, Fifty Shades Of Grey is 9 And A Half Weeks for a modern audience, and just like that 1986 turkey its actually pretty uninvolving and unerotic. Like the softcore porno it basically is, Fifty Shades has no real use for a plot, its just an excuse to break out the leather handcuffs. And it goes on forever. Even Deep Throat got everything said and done in an hour. Full of hollow dialogue, ludicrous characters and with a noticeable lack of chemistry between the leads, you can expect to see this $40 million bonkbuster in bargain bins in the new year when audiences wise up to what theyve been sold.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
