5. San Andreas
Had it been made 20 years ago, San Andreas wouldve starred Sylvester Stallone or, if itd been made even earlier, Charlton Heston. Thats the movies problem: its so anonymous that it couldve been made at any time, starring absolutely anyone. Dumb, manipulative and in a hurry to give you something to look at every few minutes, this is an old school disaster movie souped-up with state-of-the-art special effects. In no other area does the movie have anything new to offer, least of all in the character department. Dwayne Johnson is the fearless helicopter pilot who scours earthquake-devastated California for his estranged daughter, Paul Giamatti is the scientist whose warnings went unheeded and Ioan Gruffud is the cowardly businessman who has dead meat written all over him. Youve seen it all before, and after watching San Andreas once, itll be a long time before you revisit it.
Ian Watson
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
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