12 Movies That Tricked You Into Thinking They Had Happy Endings

12. Avatar - Jake Has Doomed Humanity

Avatar faces
20th Century Fox

The Allegedly Happy Ending: A film about environmentalism that made stupid people want to commit suicide because they found a CGI construct more inviting than the Earth, Avatar is the biggest film of all time. Amazing what the possibility of alien boob will do to people.

The story is deviously simple. Bad men are desecrating natural beauty. In space. At the end, Jake €˜John Dunbar€™ Sulley manages to send the humans packing, saving the luscious Pandora from deforestation.

The Depressing Truth: Why are humans on Pandora in the first place? To get unobtanium, which sells at extortionately high prices for some reason (maybe it gives screenwriters creativity). Now the implication (and it really is an implication given the five seconds the film spends on it) is that Earth is dying and humanity need this magic rock to survive. So when Jake sends all the humans away he€™s actually dooming his homeworld. But hey, they were being mean, there was no other choice, right?

Hell yeah there was another choice; that was the whole point of the avatars. It€™s easy to forget after that arse-numbing run time, but the whole reason military action took over was because Jake started diverging from his mission. Which was to negotiate with the natives as to avoid conflict. Damn it Jake.


Film Editor (2014-2016). Loves The Usual Suspects. Hates Transformers 2. Everything else lies somewhere in the middle. Once met the Chuckle Brothers.