The Expendables might be the Scream of action movie franchises your enjoyment rests on your knowledge of the genre its sending up. Its not a spoof on the level of Blazing Saddles or Airplane!, but its amusing enough if you grew up watching Chuck Norris movies. Chuck appears in this sequel alongside Arnie, Stallone, Van Damme et al, making the movie the cinematic equivalent of an old folks home. At 53, Van Damme was the youngest of the 80s action stars, though you wouldnt know it as they crash cars, throw people through windows and fire off a million rounds of ammunition. At one point, Stallone wastes a creep with the line, Rest in pieces. So this is not a film where character and dialogue are important, more the type of picture youll remember for Chuck Norris turning up to tell a Chuck Norris joke. Turns out a snake bit him once, and after several days of agonizing pain, the snake died. You either get it or you dont, and since nobody onscreen is taking it very seriously, you might as well sit back and enjoy yourself.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
