Surprise; the guy that the Internet was created for and the world fawned over with various metaphors of how tough Chuck Norris is only makes it to number three for a variety of reasons. For one, despite his martial arts pedigree he's spent a large chunk of his later acting life playing a guy named 'Walker, Texas Ranger' when he could have been playing someone named 'Kick Ass, Martial Artist'. He's been politically active (or idiotic, depending on your point of view) by endorsing George Bush and Newt Gingrich. Plus, his skill is karate, which as a certain super-spy named Archer points out is the 'Dane Cook of martial arts'. After a short stint in the military that introduced him to martial arts, Norris trained religiously, becoming the winner of six National Karate Championships in a row. This gained him the attention of Bruce Lee who cast him as his nemesis in Way of the Dragon. The movie gained Norris international attention and jump-started his passion into acting or at the very least, teaching other actors martial arts. But Chuck is tough, really tough. He's drop kicked cars, he's trained with Bruce Lee and starred in movies with names that would make Stephen Segal salivate more than usual; Forced Vengeance, Missing In Action, An Eye for An Eye, Silent Rage. He's an 8th grade black belt. He has a killer moustache and beard combo. He served in the US Air Force. He's so tough he freely admits he's Christian and Republican, and will roundhouse kick any silly liberal who dares mock him for it. He openly donates and endorses whichever Republican candidate for president, from Newt Gingrich to Mitt Romney. And oh yeah, he's so tough he never goes hunting as hunting implies possible failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Sorry, had to fit at least one in.
Been there, done that but not too well. Continually financially restrained. Now (and still) lives in Western Canada and talks some hockey and parenting on ogieoglethorpe.blogspot.ca and watching trailers on 2minutemovies.blogspot.ca.
