12 Trashiest Films Ever Made

12. Color Of Night (1994)

Color of night
Buena Vista

This is the tawdry Basic Instinct wannabe that persuaded Bruce Willis to take a supporting role (and a pay cut) in an indie production helmed by a filmmaker whose first picture had made less money than Leprechaun. The movie was Pulp Fiction and the rest is history €“ as Bruce must wish Color Of Night was.

Softcore tosh like this requires a disrobing MAW (Model Actress Whatever), a chore that here falls to Jane March (dubbed €œThe sinner from Pinner€ after her antics in 1992€™s The Lover) whose aerobic poolside activities are the equal of anything we saw in Showgirls. Someone must€™ve been wowed by her previous role because here she gets to play three parts with equal €˜gusto€™, which is not a spoiler because the moment she dons a wig you€™ll think: Why is she dressed like that?

Even though her disguises are about as convincing as Diana Rigg€™s were in Theatre Of Blood, March still fools everyone onscreen, even managing to date all the men in her support group - without anyone realizing she€™s in the room. Whereas Basic Instinct turned Sharon Stone into an international sex symbol, March subsequently appeared in a movie with Caspar Van Dien.

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Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'