Kevin Smith's ridiculous horror flick might not be winning big awards anytime soon and has proven pretty divisive with critics and audiences alike, but it's hard to argue with the fantastically undignified work by Justin Long as podcaster protagonist Wallace Bryton. After being taken hostage by insane former seaman Howard Howe (Michael Parks), Wallace is slowly but surely transformed into a walrus-like creature by Howe, resulting in the horrific visage above, with Wallace sewn into a walrus suit made of dead skin, while the tusks are made from Wallace's own tibia bones after Howe amputates his legs. Yep. Long takes the part like a champ, however, aptly conveying the sheer, hilarious terror of the situation, and once he gets into the walrus suit, is mostly relegated to a silent but incredibly physical performance that's nothing if not deeply disturbing. Long has to use his eyes to sell the terror and the sadness of the situation, and he totally nails it, regardless of whether the movie works as a whole. If you ever wanted to know if Long had more range than just being a funny, nerdy guy, here's your answer.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
