13 Reasons Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Was The Stupidest 2014 Movie

11. Shredder Is, Like, 85 Years Old

In the timeline of the movie, very obvious bad guy capitalist/mad scientist (because one motivation is never enough) Eric Sacks is revealed to have been hand-raised by a ninja (the Shredder) before returning to America to be a scientist to enact a crime that is literally about 50 years in the planning. We know time has passed because Sacks has grey hair, April O'Neil is all grown up and everyone is Skyping each other every few minutes. The only thing that hasn't been changed by time is Shredder, who somehow watches Sacks grow beyond middle age without ageing a day himself, and who is deemed the most appropriate man to wear the super-mech Shredder suit (which apparently requires no instructions or training), despite being, like, close to 90 years of age. He's sprightly, agile, strong and well-versed in technology: try and imagine that next time your grandparents struggle to send you a text message with their failing eyesight and frail hands.