14 Dumbest Things In Star Trek The Motion Picture

7. Probe Couture

Enterprise wormhole Star Trek—The Motion Picture
Paramount

Minutes after being whisked away by V’ger’s Energy Probe, Ilia’s doppelgänger replacement, the Ilia Probe, materializes in the sonic shower of Ilia’s quarters, buck naked for some (i.e. Roddenberry) reason. Kirk shows a teeny bit of decorum and self control here, working a panel to apply some “spray-and-wear” clothing in order to maintain a family-friendly film rating.

But what an outfit! It’s basically a miniskirt-length robe.... and no pants. Ilia is from Delta IV, and “Deltans” appear to be completely hairless other than eyebrows and eyelashes. But are they really? With this outfit we’re only one “Basic Instinct” sit-down away from finding out.

And, it gets dumber. Although barely seen in the film, it’s the high-heeled plexiglass pumps that are the real (bald) head-scratcher. How is that leisure wear?

Is this what Ilia selected as her standard post-shower wear? Or is this ensemble all Kirk’s doing. If the latter, it says more about Kirk than Ilia.

Contributor
Contributor

Maurice is one of the founders of FACT TREK (www.facttrek.com), a project dedicated to untangling 50+ years of mythology about the original Star Trek and its place in TV history. He's also a screenwriter, writer, and videogame industry vet with scars to show for it. In that latter capacity he game designer/writer on the Sega Genesis/SNES "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine — Crossroads of Time" game, as well as Dreamcast "Ecco the Dolphin, Defender of the Future" where Tom Baker performed words he wrote.