14. Piranha 3DD (2012)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYB1McJ2qQ In case you were wondering about the title, the owner of Big Wet Water Park, where strippers have replaced lifeguards, helpfully explains it. Double D swims free, he says, in between watching his staff on the cooch cam. This is a very expensive joke, someone tells him, and thats this sequel in a nutshell: its $20 million worth of toilet humour for people who thought Piranha 3D was too thoughtful. That this is going to be a more playful affair becomes apparent with the arrival of the greatest lifeguard of all time, David Hasselhoff, who turns up and announces, welcome to rock bottom. He pokes fun at himself and at Baywatch, runs in slow motion and watches a child being decapitated by a flying piranha, which must be some kind of first. Not only does Piranha 3DD have all the blood, phallocentric humour and naked starlets usually found in Troma movies, it also features the immortal line, Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then buy the Blu-Ray.
Ian Watson
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
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