The humble Ouija board was first manufactured in 1891 by the Kennard Novelty Company, which was then sold to the Parker Brothers Toy Company who in turn was swallowed up by Hasbro. In other words, the mysterious oracle that can receive messages from the dead and, in extreme cases, lead to demonic possession, is really a harmless toy sold by the corporation that makes Optimus Prime dolls. Youd think the board had received enough publicity already from the 1,279 other movies where idiot teenagers attempt to communicate with the dead, but Hasbro and producer Michael Bay think otherwise, so theyve slapped together a joyless, utterly generic slab of teens-in-peril tosh that doesnt even have the decency to be funny, intentionally or otherwise. There isnt enough going on in the movie to keep your attention, so if you do decide to watch, at least turn it into a drinking game. Then again, if you take a drink every time you think you know whats going to happen next, youll end up being treated for alcohol poisoning, so scratch that thought.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
