15 Mindless Action Films You Must See Before You Die
14. Fire Down Below (1997)
“I’m a federal agent,” announces Steven Seagal, who’s just beaten up a small town’s police force. “I work for the Environmental Protection Agency!”
Mother Nature is being disrespected by The Man, so it’s up to Steve take down Kris Kristofferson’s Mr Burns-ish businessman, who’s dumping barrels of waste in the local mine and disposing of anyone that gets in his way, including 2 FBI agents and Steve’s former colleague. Before our favourite Aikido master can make things personal, though, he first has to attend the local dance contest, where he whips out his six-string to wow the assembled yahoos with one of the 12 self-penned tunes he contributed to the soundtrack.
Hauled before the judge on charges of homicide, kidnapping and general assholeism, Kristofferson gets off with a $50,000 fine, so Seagal quits the EPA and promises to “show him the meaning of the word ‘violation’”. Which he does – he allows Harry Dean Stanton to sing over the closing credits.
To think Bruce Willis turned this movie down.