15 Recent Horrors You Should Avoid This Halloween
3. Martyrs
One of the greatest horror films of all time - Pascal Laugier's 2008 feature Martyrs. Not one of the greatest horror films of all time - this year's remake. A singular exercise in missing the point, this version of the French classic is as watered-down, bland and useless as everyone had feared a Martyrs remake was going to be.
The plot is surprisingly faithful to the original story at first, until the two young women (yes, both of them) enter the hidden torture basement and are captured by the powers that be. From there it diverges greatly, with one of the ladies shooting her way out in an extended gunfight (yes, a gunfight in a Martyrs remake) while the other is tortured and traumatised even more.
The film tries to have its cake and eat it with an upbeat version of the original film's twist, but seeing as that's as stupid an idea as it sounds, it doesn't work, fluffing both in the process.
Still, maybe it's for the best. After all, the last thing you want is the profound trauma of watching 2008 Martyrs on Halloween night. Carry on, then.