16. "The Movie Has A Great Twist... You Won't See It Coming!"
Well, now I will, given that you just TOLD ME that there's a twist coming up. Which defeats the point of there being a twist at all, because now I'm going to be trying to figure out what it is for an ENTIRE MOVIE (pictured: the only movie "twist" that it's okay to know about beforehand).
15. "I Actually Prefer The Remake..."
No, you don't. You just think that you do because you're unable to tell the difference between a work of true originality and a hacky, uninspired rip-off created to appeal purely to the easily-pleased masses who can't watch anything made after 1998. Don't call me again, Mom.
14. Guessing What Happens Next Out Loud
Oh, you guessed what was going to happen at the EXACT MOMENT THE MOVIE TOLD YOU WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? Nice one. You think you were the only one in the room who got it? Comments like: "John's the killer" at the moment when the movie has just made it obvious that John was the killer are unnecessary, you know. I understand you want me to think you're smart for figuring it out, but you look even more stupid for assuming that you were the only one who did. I repeat: THE MOVIE TOLD YOU. That's why you were able to figure it out, dum-dum.
13. "It Just Looks Really Boring..."
Yeah, and so does your face, and how many Academy Awards does that thing have? Something can't look really boring - you have to try it to find out whether it's boring or not, you know.
