20 Problems Only Cannes Film Festival Attendees Will Understand

If he wasn't a film-maker, Lars Von Trier would probably be one of those dangerous people you avoid at all costs in coffee shops: always a couple of minutes away from saying something teeth-pullingly controversial or awkward.

Unfortunately, that's now become his currency in Cannes - where he was so famously branded Persona Non Grata after an ill-advised Nazi comment - as well as every other director who wants to make a similar sort of splash. So you'll end up having to hang on the every word of these enfants terribles in the vain hope that they too might drop an N-word or two and give you something to write about.

They won't, of course, but it's almost impossible to resist the belief that they just might, and you'll be able to tell everyone you were present.