8. The Transporter Refueled: The Moment Where They Recast Frank Martin
For three Transporter movies, sandpaper faced/sandpaper voiced action icon Jason Statham played legendarily badass courier Frank Martin. For the fourth movie, however, they recast the role and hired some mumbler named Ed Skrein, previously famous for a) terrible rapping and b) being recast himself, as supporting character Daario Naharis in Game Of Thrones. The new Transporter is intended to be the start of a new trilogy... but is also a prequel to the previous three films. This makes very little sense, given that onscreen cues suggest that the new film is set in 2010, and that the original was made in 2002. If youre thinking that 2002 isnt necessarily when the first movie was set: in Transporter 3 (2008) Statham drove a Audi A8 W12 armoured model that debuted that year, thereby accurately dating the action in the third film. Meanwhile, in this latest, earlier film, Skrein is driving an Audi S8, a car that didn't exist until 2012. You can give them a couple of years leeway, but not a decade. Things are complicated further by the fact that The Transporter Refueled features the amazing Ray Stevenson as Frank's father, Frank Martin Snr. Now, Skrein is thirty-two, three years younger than Statham was when he filmed the first Transporter film. Stevenson is fifty-one years old, and of the same generation as Statham. That makes him just about old enough to play Skrein's dad, or just about old enough to play Statham's brother. If youre confused, youre not the only one. I had enough of this crap trying to make Terminator: Genisys make sense, so I've officially decided that Frank Martin is a Time Lord, and that his car is a TARDIS. Problem solved. I still preferred the first Transporter, though.
Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.