Rotten Tomatoes: 25% It was never going to work. For the army of middle aged women who bought the book for a bit of titillation on their morning commute, a film adaptation was never going to be graphic enough to rival their own sordid imaginations, and to a traditional movie audience the story was too poor and too badly written to justify watching. In the end, the dull, oddly sexless adaptation was never extreme enough in either sense. It isn't stylish and well written enough to be a real film and it's not naughty enough to be distracting. If it had been as ridiculous as Showgirls it might also have been a lot more engaging. Obviously the box office assured that the planned sequels will go ahead, complete with the least charismatic lead couple since Twilight. And if that all wasn't enough, now the bloody thing has inspired Marlon Wayans to release another of his humourless "spoofs" - the hilariously titled Fifty Shades Of Black. So yeah, thanks for that.