31. Alan Hates Children, Trolls The "Six Foot Turkey" Kid (Jurassic Park)
At the very start of the first movie, Alan Grant (Sam Neill) is explaining to his co-workers that dinosaurs have more in common with modern-day birds than reptiles, when an obnoxious kid pipes up that dinos don't sound very scary, but more like "a six-foot turkey". Alan then paints a vivid picture of what a Velociraptor would do to the kid if he lived in the Cretaceous period, pulling out a Raptor claw for added effect as he explains that the dino would probably slash his stomach open and spill his intestines, eating him while he's still alive. The scene succinctly sets up how Alan isn't so much a kid person, but even so, it's a pretty damn graphic explanation for a family adventure movie (as will be something of a common thread in this article). This amusing little chat sets the tone for what's to follow perfectly, disturbing though it undeniably is.
Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes).
General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.
