1. Die Another Day
http://youtu.be/V_pCcBm400Y Oh God. Why?! This song is a crime. This song is the Batman and Robin of James Bond themes and I contest that it (not the movie it preceded) is the reason for the series reboot. It makes, quite literally, no sense, with singer, co-writer, co-producer Madonna grunting and whispering, Sigmund Freud, analyze this. in your ear, apropos of nothing. Other than that, the song is lazy. There is one verse, and the chorus is one line. The song is replete with weird laser noises and sound effects. I am mad at Madonna, and Im mad at the fact that I had to listen to this song multiple times in the writing of this article. Element of Danger: -5 The only danger is of me punching my computer in its face. The Ladies: -2 Heres a tricky one. Madonna is (or was) an attractive woman. This song is, at points, overtly sexual, but these attempts miss the mark so far that it becomes tantamount to having your grandmother whisper sensual things in your ear. (This is not a comment on Madonnas age, rather the quality of her sexiness, which is just about as sexy as my nana, which is not that sexy.) Cool Factor: -10 Come on. BONUS:http://youtu.be/Ns6ypkfg9dM Thanks for sticking with me. These are all better than Madonna. Anything you'd care to add? Why not throw us a comment.