1. Moonwalker (1988, Dir. Jerry Kramer, Jim Blashfield, Colin Chilvers)
Before I start this segment, Im going to have to declare an interest: Im not a fan of Michael Jackson. I liked Man In The Mirror but other than that, I really dont see the appeal or understand the hype around him. But whether or not you love Michael Jackson and are preparing to descend on me armed with torches and pitchforks, one thing I think we can all agree on is that Jacksons film Moonwalker is completely mental. Jackson originally wanted Moonwalker to have a cinematic release but it was relegated to the straight-to-video market. And looking into it, I can see why. The first twenty minutes are a montage of stills, clips, and animations of him performing, with stills of arse-kissing newspaper articles and magazine covers about him in the background followed by sequences where a child dressed as him recreates the music video for Bad, and where he runs away from crazed claymation fans. He then sings a song that (without even a hint of irony) is called Leave Me Alone. And from then on it just gets more nonsensical. Theres a vague plot that crops up at around halfway through about a drug dealer played by Joe Pesci who wants to get every child in the world hooked on drugs for... some reason but that gets moved to the side in favour of more footage of Michael Jackson performing and bizarre scenes where he turns into claymation versions of Sylvester Stallone, Tina Turner, and Pee-Wee Herman in quick succession, and later turns into a car, and then a giant robot which transforms into a spaceship. There also some scenes of Michael Jackson playing with children in a field that are incredibly awkward in hindsight. It has almost no plot, makes no sense, and is literally nothing but a ninety-three minute ego trip by a man desperately craving attention and approval. Jackson may have as well have just put an image of a middle finger next to the words Im a God on screen for an hour and a half. Its also trippy as hell. I hate to imagine what people would see if they watched this film on acid. But the bottom line is that Moonwalker is pretty much nothing but a shrine to Michael Jacksons vanity.
Which films do you think were self-indulgent? Let us know in the comments section below.