Humans.... They come in all different shapes, sizes and colours and are all beautiful in their own special way, even the ugly ones. As most interviews are conducted by this particular species, it is important to adhere to the interview protocol and observantly engage in their pleasantries, questions and to an extent, their behaviours throughout the formal process. It is not recommended to preoccupy your thoughts on their dress sense, facial scars, accent or huge, oddly shaped cranium. Once more those pesky nerves stand in the witness box, accused of causing you difficulties in obtaining employment. One or two slight observations and before you know it, your brain has spun out of it's logical, proficient and prescribed hemisphere on the left. Once this happens, your brain is on a one way ticket to it's crazy, creative and rule bending brother, the right hemisphere. As this mischievous, adjacent "Dark Side" of your brain starts to take over and unlocks, this cursed container of Pandora will seem easier to close. One way performers deal with nerves is to picture everyone in their underwear. In a job interview, this may prove to be extremely detrimental to your attention as well as directly affecting your answers and responses. If the person interviewing you is insanely hot or ugly, using this technique will directly affect your ability to respond properly to any questions fired at you. Fixating on the interviewer takes the emphasis off you as the candidate and changes the whole dynamic of the meeting. Perhaps in a creative industry, this may prove to be an exciting and somewhat productive technique, but generally speaking, it is probably best to try to focus upon the role at hand and your interviewer's questions and academic attributes. If you make a faux pas towards the interviewer during the meeting, take a deep breath and keep going. Your inner monologue may be causing you to cringe when you said that their eyebrows look like two obese slugs, and you may feel the uncontrollable need to laugh at their corporate mantra, but suppressing these desires and soldiering on will enable you to continue through the gauntlet and you may walk out with everything you need. Just like Wayne and Garth in the clip below. If you have any interesting interview stories/nightmares or comments, let us know below. That completes todays interview, thank you very much, I will be in touch. Probably...
By day, a typical, clichéd tortured artist with delusions of grandeur. A dyslexic warrior haunted by his poor grammar and dependent on his trusty spell-check.
By night he is the musical gigging front man/guitarist in a heavy alt 2 piece noise outfit know as “Exit Strategy One.”
Armed with enough affirmation to chase his musical dream he shares his downtime between gigs watching box sets and talking rubbish to anyone who will listen.
