6 Good Reasons to Fear Toys

6. Vengeance!

One of the reasons Toy Story 3 resonated with audiences so well was the very fact that we could empathise with €˜Lots-O€™-Huggin€™ Bear€™s plight. It wouldn€™t be a hard task to find ten people who€™d come across an old toy or teddy in their attic and mused on the fact that they no longer get the same sense of joy out of it they once did. Clearly, though, their former favourites are of a more tame line than some toys could be. Being abandoned and forgotten (not to mention replaced!) by an €˜owner€™ could affect anybody in a bad, bad way! The worst thing is that this is a necessary fate for all toys, in reality. Regardless of whether or not the toy is €˜passed on€™ to another, younger owner, at some point that toy will either become tattered beyond repair or unfashionable beyond rekindling love. It€™s at this point that the seed is sown for evil. Give it one, maybe two decades of miserable existence and, if the little blighter hasn€™t been destroyed completely, expect retaliation on ANYONE! It€™s not made explicit why or how Talky Tina became so malevolent. It€™s known that she€™s €˜new€™ but, let€™s face it, that€™s way too ambiguous a description to trust entirely. No, it€™d be best to take Talky Tina€™s final piece of advice, spoken from beside the dead Stepfather, under deep consideration when purchasing or thinking of €˜getting rid€™ of a toy: €œMy name€™s Talky Tina and you better be nice to me!€
 
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A. J. S. Scott was created as a homunculus by a mad English Alchemist who was trying to make rum from ink and seawater. He is still a fan of both and he has no comment on what happened to all the ‘No Exit’ signs in Islington Underground Station when he visited for Beltaine. You can send him missives by bribing the Right Raven with sour-strings, or: Instagram: @ajsscott Tumblr: andrew-scott-things.tumblr.com