5. Spider-Man
Heres where we really start to get into some WTF territory. When James Cameron was involved with Spider-Man, the studio was worried that hed go over budget. So they told him that he wouldnt get a single cent of his fee until he turned in a script that could be budgeted under a certain amount. Proving that you dont get James Cameron until you pay James Cameron, he basically took an existing script, changed a few lines, and added his name to the title page. Cameron would go on to write his own version, but the initial one he chose to pass off as his was really, really bad. In this one, both Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus get their powers from a cyclotron experiment and Doctor Octopus is after anti-gravity or something. In this script, Doctor Octopus for some reason claims hes Spider-Man and uses the catchphrase okey dokey. Given that Cameron was considering Arnold Schwarzenegger for the role, this is something I could actually have seen happening (and now Im getting flashbacks to Schwarzeneggers Mr. Freeze). When Cameron actually did write his own script, it wasnt much better. In fact, in some ways, it was much worse. Peter is described as an isolated lonerso far, so goodwho wears his isolation as a badge of superiority. Ummokay? And after getting his powers, Peter awakes feeling very relaxed, and lifts up his sheets and find organic webbingspecifically a sticky, white mass. And yes, they did storyboard that scene and I
have included it above, because I cannot un-see that image, and you must all share my pain. Oh, and Spider-Man and Mary Jane have sex on the Brooklyn Bridge. And they do it by performing a spider mating ritual. I dont know if there's a storyboard for that scene and I don't really
want to know. But if there isnt, Im sure the Internet has Rule 34d it already. Stick to time-traveling robots and killer aliens, James. Its what youre good at.