4. Randy Quaid
According to Quaid, it all happened one night out in Marfa, Texas. You probably recognize Quaid as Cousin Eddie in the Chevy Chase's Vacation movies or perhaps as the drunken crop dusting father in Independence Day who flies his jet up into the alien mother ship to blow it up. If that was all he had ever done than imagining him as a crazy person wouldn't be too hard to believe, but Quaid has had a largely successful acting career. He has appeared in over 70 roles, was nominated for an oscar, and has won an Golden Globe. He is also the older brother of actor Dennis Quaid, who despite some spotty marriage troubles, seems like a nice enough guy. However, Randy's career was soon to be gone and his family alienated from him. He disappeared after arrest warrants were issued for him and his outlaw wife Evi (known in art circles as the girl who does giant close-up self portraits of her naked feminine junk). The couple reappeared when Canadian immigration detained them both for illegally attempting to hop the border. The Quaids told the Canadian authorities that they were not immigrating, but in fact refugees fleeing for their lives from the evil Hollywood Star Whackers, the same pappanazis that struck down Heath Ledger and David Carradine. Word of the conspiracy spread fast. After their mail stopped being sent properly to them in Marfa, Randy Quaid was soon hit with the sad news of David Carradine's death by autoerotic asphyxiation. Stunned and suspicious, Quaid and his wife put the pieces of the puzzle together. If Hollywood producers whacked stars then they could keep the insurance money for the project that the star was working on. The Quaid's have been on the run ever since a little while ago when Canada finally agreed to take them in. Quaid's "Star Whacker" conspiracy is just so cranked and crazy it will be that thing we find out fifteen years from now was actually true.