5. Spider Jerusalem
How has this not happened yet? Seriously. I love Transmetropolitan with an unhealthy passion, and I'm well aware that a lot of other people do as well, so the hold-up on a cinematic adaptation seems somewhat strange. Okay, repressing my serious rage that there are no plans for this movie in the near-future, let's take a look at one or two facts: first of all, in the early noughties, there were rumours flying around that Spider Jerusalem, a Thompson-esque gonzo journalist in a cyber-punk and socially insane not-so-distant-future, might be hitting the big screen. Didn't happen. Later, there were plans to release an online animated series with Jerusalem played by Patrick Stewart. Didn't happen. Even later on, Tim God-of-all-awesomeness Roth was rumoured to be playing the part in an upcoming movie, which again, of course didn't happen. It seems that whenever this delightfully monstrous world comes anywhere near the cinema, it's snatched away from us, robbing the epic tale and its sickly hilarious characters of the mainstream attention they so rightfully deserve. In a perfect world, this would have been released years ago as a double-feature released back-to-back with 'Tank Girl', both directed by Terry Gilliam and starring Roth (or maybe even Christopher Eccleston) in the lead. Sadly, this is not the case. We can still dream though.