7 Stephen King Adaptations That Are Unintentionally Hilarious
7. Children Of The Corn V: Fields Of Terror
One reason why you should never wander alone through a cornfield after dark is because a lightning bolt might shoot out of the ground, transforming you into a worshipper of He Who Walks Behind The Rows. Then youll have to go through the motions as Lead Villain in another straight-to-tape seemquel from cash-in kings Dimension Films, proud home of Dracula III: Legacy, Mimic II and Hellraiser: Deader. In amongst the Creepy Kids, Idiot Victims and Cars That Wont Start is a plot about a quartet of teenage bozos that drive into a ditch outside David Carradines cornfield. In a whopping contrivance, its home to the same cult the heroines brother ran off to join months earlier, and because subtlety, storytelling and narrative logic are anathema in the DTV Dungeon, tomorrow is the day hes going to be sacrificed to He Who Walks etc. Cynics who suggest that this franchise gives new meaning to the words pointless and repetitive are however sadly mistaken as Fields of Terror boldly goes where no other low-rent horror flick dares and gives us the confrontation weve always wanted: Fred Williamson VS David Carradine. Williamsons the cop come to throw Carradine in jail or a hole in the ground, he doesnt care which, then as these two titans square up to each other, Carradines head splits open to reveal a mini flame-thrower inside, which burns Williamson like greasy spoon toast. Other than that, its fairly routine.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
