8. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone - Oliver Wood's Pre-Quidditch Pep Talk
Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, was always one of my favorite characters. I have the feeling that, had he been Muggle and Bostonian, he would have made a great Red Sox fan and that makes him my kindred spirit. His obsession with Quidditch is practically religious. We don't once hear him talk about his O.W.L.s or a problem he has with Snape's essay. No, everything he does and says has something to do with Quidditch. Not even the Weasley twins are that single-minded. This makes him a great Quidditch Captain, even if it slightly explains why we never hear mention of a girlfriend. My favorite Wood moment is our entry for Movie #1. Moments before ickle firstie Harry Potter is to play his first Quidditch game, Oliver tries to reassure him with this memorable snatch of dialogue: "Oliver: Scared, Harry? Harry: A little. Oliver: That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game. Harry: What happened? Wood: I, uh, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in hospital a week later." Thanks, Oliver. We'll add your speech to the Motivational Fails site on the Cheezburger network along with Lord Denethor and his "Go now and die in what way seems best to you" line.