8 Movie Plots That Could Have Been Solved If The Main Character Just Stood Still

5. Sam Does Nothing But Stammer - Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

The Plot... Transformers 2 is, without compare, the worst film ever made. In a way that is satisfying; cinema can only get better from here (although Age Of Extinction showed it hasn't by much). On a base level Revenge Of The Fallen completely misunderstands what it is, taking a throwaway B-Movie that should have a ninety minute run-time and turning it into a three hour epic. And although much of that time is spent watching indistinguishable robots whack each other on the head and seeing the camera pan over Megan Fox's curves in slo-mo, there's a surprisingly convoluted plot. The human character's are as one-dimensional as ever, with Shia LaBeouf's Sam still suffering with basic relationship issues. But when you get into the Autobot-Decepticon battle things get crazy. The plot spans millenia (Earth was once to site of big Transformer war apparently) and introduces a big evil force behind the original's big bad, a weapon hidden in the pyramids and more macguffins that the entire filmography of Alfred Hitchcock. The broad strokes are that Optimus Prime is killed, which is bad because only a Prime can beat ultimate evil The Fallen, so Sam and co. get a plane to teleport them to Egypt to try and resurrect him. To get there requires stoner jokes, the final nail in the coffin of John Turturro's career and enough action to bore a five year old high on Fanta. Why The Main Character Should Have Just Stood Still... There's always a sense of obsoleteness to the human characters in these film, but at least in the others they kinda do something. Here Sam is nothing more than narrative padding; the two big plot elements are bringing Optimus back and stopping the detonation of a sun-destroying weapon. The first happens thanks to another Transformer sacrificing themselves and the latter is blown up by the military because JOIN THE ARMY. It's contrived to have a kid solve problems ancient machines couldn't, sure, but if you can't think of any reason for him to be relevant at all can't you just leave him at home?