Hey guys, got a theory for you; what if Obi-Wan Kenobi is really Luke Skywalker's father. Mind-blowing, huh? Well, all the evidence points towards it. He's already lied to Luke about the truth of his father once and this'd much more satisfyingly explain why he sticks so close during the years between trilogies and why he's so keen to have Luke become a Jedi. And remember that scene in the Star Wars prequels where him and Padme talk about some secret, but it's never referenced again? Pretty convincing, right?
Well, it shouldn't be, because I made it all up. Those contrivances from the originals are stretched at best and there's no scene in the prequels where Obi-Wan and Padme talk about anything like that (their conversations pretty much always centre around Anakin). It really should be obvious if you, y'know, pay attention to the movies in question. Which sounds obvious, but, shockingly, doesn't always happen.
So often a fun theory pops up that redefines a movie which people are desperate to share, write about and discuss before considering that it could be completely baseless, directly contradicting what's set up in the film. To set the record straight (and ensure nobody else goes around believing Luke is a Kenobi) here are eight fan theories that are so wrong they don't even fit into the movie.