8 Things Prometheus 2 Must Do To Avoid Being Terrible

5. If Your Characters Are Geniuses, Make Them Act Like It

The brightest minds on Earth money could buy, and at least half of the characters in Prometheus are killed because of mistakes that wouldn't have been made by most primary-school children: A biologist petting an unknown penis monster; a geologist getting lost in a cave complex that we literally just saw him create an intricately detailed map of; a fully-grown woman suffering from a Derek Zoolander-esque inability to turn left (or even right, for that matter) to avoid being crushed by a practically two-dimensional rolling object. The above are just a few of the silly, ill-thought-through decisions foisted upon characters that are meant to be smarter than most Prometheus' audience, which makes it all the more frustrating to see. It's not that characters dying is a bad thing - killing them badly is. As any slasher movie worth its salt will teach you, deaths have to be earned, and that means having your characters make believable decisions that the audience (or people supposedly smarter than the audience) would make. It feels like an insult to have a film like Prometheus expect anyone to buy the idiocy of any of its characters, and that kind of laziness has no place in Prometheus 2 if it wants its audience to even begin to respect it.