9 Movies That Were Really Just Feature-Length Adverts In Disguise

8. Jaws III

Originally released as Jaws 3-D (the DVD may be only available in 2D, but the stereoscopic moments still stand out), Jaws III was so bad that the next film in the series, Jaws: The Revenge, pretended it didn€™t exist. While Universal must have been suitably disappointed they somehow messed up the formula (there€™s a Brody and a fake looking shark, isn€™t that what made the first so successful?), the real losers in all this were SeaWorld. In the most questionable piece of product placement ever, Jaws III takes place entirely within the confines of the water park. The logic behind the decision is nonexistent; Orlando isn€™t lacking in theme parks and as tantalising as events going wrong is, I don€™t think I€™m alone in saying I€™d probably go to one where there€™s a lower chance of death. Yet the film seems completely driven to push SeaWorld on the audience. Through utter contrivance, a great white manages to sneak into the park and what follows is ninety minutes where all of their big attractions (underwater tunnels, water skiing acts, dolphins) get a showcase before succumbing to terror. The plot linking these all together is driven less by saving the customers and more about maintaining the integrity of the park. Forgive me for not rushing to book flights.

Film Editor (2014-2016). Loves The Usual Suspects. Hates Transformers 2. Everything else lies somewhere in the middle. Once met the Chuckle Brothers.