Full SPEED Ahead!

The teaser and the two international trailers for the upcoming SPEED RACER left many confused and disappointed. Prepare to feel G-forces with the newest trailer!

After the Wachowski Siblings released the first trailers for their upcoming live action version of the seventies cartoon classic Speed Racer, many movie fanboys spent far too many hours bashing the kaleidescopic visuals. Nevermind that most of these fanboys were yet to make an appearance as anything other than watery ejaculate when the cartoon was at its peak. I, on the other hand, was a five year old boy during this time - thank goodness Logan's Run never came true! - and I know as well as anyone what made the cartoon work: THE CAR, THE CAR, THE CAR.

The characters were basically non-existent, the animation barely moved, and very little of the weekly story made any sort of sense. Yet, that damned car fueled the imaginations of an entire generation of boys in America. "What could you do if you had Speed Racer's Mach Five?" we would ask ourselves. The answer was, as always, "anything we damn well pleased." And yeah, we used the word "damn" at five years old. When Mom wasn't around, that is. As a long-term/ancient fan of the cartoon, I was filled with apprehension after watching the trailers. It seemed to me that the Wachowski Siblings spent too much time trying to emulate the crappy animation of the series - something that nobody fondly remembers or ever wanted to see again. Additionally, the Mach Five never really made much of an impression in any of the trailers ... and as I've made clear, that's the whole point. Well, I am happy to report that they have fixed this little glitch with the new domestic trailer for the movie. Not only do we get to see the Mach Five in its full glory - complete with that "yawnk yawnk yawnk" sound we love so much - but we also get to see the characters interact on a personal level. Here is the brand new trailer for Speed Racer:

Here it is in HIGH DEF! I think Susan Sarandon looks much better in the Mom role than I had feared. I also thought the action scenes made much more sense visually than I had seen them represented previously. While the plot still sounds like limp catshit, the Wachowski Siblings appear to be on the right track in capturing the feel of racing with this movie. FULL SPEED AHEAD INDEED!!!

All you need to know is that I love movies and baseball. I write about both on a temporary medium known as the Internet. Twitter: @rayderousse or @unfilteredlens1 Go St. Louis Cardinals! www.stlcardinalbaseball.com