All-Time Top Ten Memorable Computer Game Adaptations...
In part reference to the collapse of the Bioshock project, as well as keeping in line with my last list, and in response to a specific request from our very own resident Argentine Ezequiel, this week, direct from my brain I bring you the most memorable examples of Hollywoods perpetual flirtation with other mediums. Notice I didnt say the best, or the worst, so dont go busting my balls just yet 10. Resident Evil (2002) Why so memorable? Because the first two at least didnt suck when they could have been an awful mess of too much CGI and too little character focus especially with Paul W S Anderson in charge of them: the decision to cast Milla Jovovich was inspired. Watching her kick zombie arse in her short red dress, embodying that particular brand of sexy violence that we fanboys ache for you cant help but marvel at the choice. 
9. Max Payne (2008) Why so memorable? This was the precise moment when video game adaptations aspired to aesthetic greatness- admittedly the project was an overall failure thanks to some awful direction and the ill-advised decision to go for style over substance. Had the Bioshock project gone ahead with its improbable budget and inevitable aesthetic sensibilities and with the trail set by Max Payne, the industry could potentially have pulled away from the inherent prejudice that defines computer game adaptations as somehow less worthy than films adapted from books. But now it looks like Max Payne might well have simply been a failed experiment. 
8. Super Mario Bros (1993) Why so memorable? Well, this is where it all started- the first major motion picture to be adapted from the gamer universe. Forget that it was basically a load of old tosh, and that the central performances in it are as high-camp as they are ridiculous, Super Mario Bros is an enjoyable watching experience- as long as you have no expectations of grandeur. Hilariously read an article that said Super Mario Bros was a tweaked version of Hamlet, which when you think about it is a surprisingly alluring analysis: but that aside the enjoyment is mostly down to the set-design, the character design (especially the horrific Goombas) and the overall idiocy of the project (Dennis Hopper as Koopa- I mean, come on!). There should have been a sequel- remember Daisys reappearance at the end?- and I for one would happily go and see it. As long as Luigis got his moustache back. 
7. Street Fighter (1994) Why so memorable? Because it was stupid! Jean Claude Van Damme, Kylie Minogue and Raul Julia on one screen together was always going to be a surreal experience. Somewhat unforgivably Street Fighter moved too far away from the two characters who were the main focal point of the game series at the time (Ken & Ryu) in favour of Van Dammes Guile (thus taking a character as recognisably American as apple pie and giving him an odd sprinkling of Belgian flavour). The film also tried too hard to introduce as many characters as possible, and thus diluted the screen-time of those the audience are expected to feel closest to. 
6. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) Why so memorable? The first sequel, seemingly ignoring the fact that the first Mortal Kombat film was hardly an achievement to be proud of- Annihilation replaced the majority of the major actors of the first with cheap alternatives (apart from Robin Shou, reprising his role as Liu Kang) and extended the scope of the plot. Not a good idea at all. And what a surprise, bucking the tradition of only adding to franchises that make money or are memorable in some way, theres a third one in the pipeline. Joyous. 
5. Doom (2005) Why so memorable? Not altogether that good- it featured some no frills thrills, and a typically charismatic performance from DwayneThe RockJohnson before he went all Disney on us- but it was the scene when Doom went all Doom that stands out. Taking the familiar first-person stylized approach that the game had iconically rolled out, the chase scene towards the end of the movie was an exceptionally good bit of cinema because it amazingly had never really been done before in the same vein. 
4. Dead or Alive (2006) Why so memorable? Pure and simple: they neglected the preposterous giant bouncing fun-bags in favour of Holly bloody Vallance. Whoever came up with that little gem at the brain-storming table was clearly off their rocker- youre effectively removing the major selling point of the concept and letting down 90% of your primary target audience. 
3. Double Dragon (1995) Why so memorable? This was the moment when the tender strings of my heart first snapped upon realising that my favourite games might not make good bed-fellows with the might of Hollywood. This illogical, inexplicable adaptation, which was far from true to the game version was the moment the bubble burst for me. The major problem was that the film seemed to treat the games fans with utter disdain, pandering down to their presupposed lesser intelligence, injecting supposedly high-octane thrills without plot development or properly furnished characters (especially Robert Patricks awful villain) and expecting that to be enough. Heres a tip for you- a cinematic adaptation is supposed to add to the games world, not break it down to its apparently appealing composite pieces and suck all of the life out of it. 
2. Hitman (2007) Why so memorable? For taking probably the most adaptable video game concept and somehow making it immeasurably shit. I just dont believe Timothy Olyphant has any appeal beyond his awesome name. He looks like he should have been part of the Jackass collective, and acts like he has suffered the same number of head injuries as Knoxvilles cirque du freak lot. 
1. Blood Rayne (2005) Why so memorable? Because Sir Ben Kingsley was in it. And Id like to grab him and shake him until he can offer me some kind of explanation as to why he chose to add his considerable talent to such an obviously doomed project. Like using lobster to make fish fingers, or flavouring a Pot Noodle with truffle oil. Kingsleys attachment to this fetid little turd of a movie remains highly illogical- but them I suppose everyone likes to slum it now and then. 
Its only a matter of time before someone does a World of Warcraft or Fable influenced movie, and they should be stopped in their tracks before they get anywhere near pre-production. Personally, my fingers are firmly crossed for a Pong game. Done by Terry Gilliam, or Tarsem Singh.