Blu-Ray Review: MIDGETS VS. MASCOTS- A Dribbling Moron of a Movie

Right, straight into the synopsis for Midgets vs. Mascots, as I'm pretty sure it'll be the thing that either makes you overstep the Read More jump or turn away at this earliest of opportunities (and trust me, I won't judge). A dead midget porn star dies, leaving his inheritance to the winning team of a Midgets and Mascots contest, with the teams coached by his son and surviving wife. And it's supposed to be real- since this is a so-called shockumentary. Holy. Shit. Anyway, this atrocity, which has been wrongfully likened to Jackass elsewhere (that show is like fucking Mastermind compared to this), is out now on DVD and Blu-ray. Hang on, this is a comedy?! There are no laughs to speak of, and the over-riding feeling is one of tragedy, and not mirth. The "film-makers" have quite obviously set an agenda to shock as much as possible, what with the endless list of non-PC and non-funny jokes, but the end product is so irredeemably far beyond crude that it has no value whatsoever, beyond being an example of what not to watch in all circumstances. It says something about today's society that a film like this could ever be made. It is also a telling indication of the tragedy of Gary Coleman that this was the last movie project that the former Diff'rent Strokes megastar completed- I can only hope that this isn't the lasting legacy left for Coleman. The key to the mockumentary sub-genre is precise intellect: look at how complex and successful Christopher Guest's films are. Even Borat and Bruno look like Renaissance master-pieces next to this dribbling moron of a movie, and how the pre-release marketing has the gall to claim that the film is a mesh of Borat and Jackass is beyond me. Okay, so some of the stunts have clearly been lifted lock, stock and barrel from the play-book of Jackass, but that doesn't mean they are anywhere near alike. Who this film is for is beyond my intellectual capacity. If it is you, then you definitely need to re-evaluate the direction your life is headed, because there is nothing amongst the heinous cavalcade of midget porn, tasteless penis jokery (is it ever really tasteful?) and downright inhumanity that says Valuable Member of Society. P.S. One thing that I could never understand is why it is okay to ridicule "little people", when it is considered appallingly bad form at the very least, and criminal at the extreme to poke fun at other disabilities. It seems mainstream films have someone claimed them as "fair game" for a laugh. Distasteful if you ask me.

Quality

Does anything this bleak really need to be in high-definition? Turns out it doesn't. The source material isn't great to start with, since the mockumentary style and the price of production has necessitated an "authentically unpolished" visual style. There isn't a proliferation of post-tinkering magic, nor much evidence of excessive DNR, but it really doesn't pop out of the screen, which is odd considering how colourful everything is. Sound is okay, packing some punch during stunts where necessary, but again it's all very uninspiring. Perhaps I'm being too hard because the film itself put me off so badly, but who cares- I had to watch it, so I should be allowed to grumble about it openly and to anyone who is even half listening.

Extras

Nothing special, but then I doubt too many people are going to stick around to get anything Extra out of this film. Cast Interviews Deleted Scenes Trailer

Midgets vs Mascots is out now DVD and Blu-ray.
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