Deadpool 2: Every Major Character's Best Moment
9. Weasel Cracks Under Interrogation
Cable (Josh Brolin) ends up taking Weasel (T.J. Miller) hostage and interrogates him in order to find out where the DMC convoy containing Russell is. The time-travelling mutant quickly pulls out the scare tactics, with Weasel putting up a brave front for all of a nanosecond before crumbling like a cookie dipped in warm milk.
After Cable threatens to "bend something that isn't made to bend", Weasel reels off a typically verbose, twitchy spiel. "If I stub my toe, I'm done for the day. I cried when they cancelled Felicity. When I'm really scared I get nervous erections. I've got one right now. Don't look, it'll only make it worse. I don't want you to hurt me, I'll tell you anything you wanna know...except for where they are."
After a beat, of course, Weasel lives up to his name and tells Cable exactly where the convoy is. Weasel had a ton of hilarious lines in the movie - "Cable wants to turn your skull into a "f***able ashtray" being especially great - but this is the character's best moment overall.
Extra points for not actually killing Weasel off here, as it seemed like they might given T.J. Miller's recent legal issues.