Delay of the Madonna! Her New Movie Won't Get Cannes 2011 Premiere

The problem with commercially successful people- particularly Americans who have had success in show-business- is that the more money they make, the fewer people they keep around them willing to tell them what is a bad idea or not. Once upon a time- and it really was that long ago- the humbly named, Madonna, was a simple singer of trash yet catchy pop songs that had the pre-internet novelty of thrusting her genitalia toward her audience with ample frequency. This aberrant behaviour went on to make Madonna one of the wealthiest entertainers on the planet. Problems, however, arose when, in spite of her relatively modest ability, she allowed her ego to swell in proportion to her bank balance and consequently believed herself to be an €œartist€ in the Da Vincian sense of the word. And this conceit saw her undertake a multitude of acting roles for which she was roundly excoriated, including the notoriously abysmal, Body of Evidence. Well, plainly unperturbed by these seeming limitations to her ability, she then believed she was equipped to direct others from behind the camera. 2008 saw the release of her first feature film, Filth and Wisdom, which drew the following comment by Peter Bradshaw of the Guardian:
"Well, it had to happen. Madonna has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now - fiercely aspirational as ever - she has graduated to being a terrible director."
Nor was this an isolated appraisal, and the film was met with similar commercial antipathy. Undeterred as ever, €œThe Madge€ is back in the chair for her second attempt at forging a career in film-making, and determined to prove she is every bit the incompetent her former husband has proven to be, is soon to release W.E., for which she also co-wrote the screenplay. Madonna recently revealed details about the film which features two narratives lines - the marriage of King Edward VIII to socialite Wallis Simpson and a married modern woman who falls for a security guard at a Sotheby€™s auction. She said to Interview;
€œthe Duke and Duchess of Windsor are in the movie, but it€™s not going to be about them. It€™s really about this other woman€™s journey, and the duchess is kind of her spiritual guide€It€™s set mostly in pre-World War II England €“ like, 1936 to 1937 €“ and then in New York in 1998. It goes back and forth in time. I use the Sotheby€™s auction in 1998 of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor€™s estate as a device to flash backward from.€
Despite initial reports that the film was to premier at the annual bear-pit of Cannes, IMGlobal has revealed there is no chance of it being completed by then- a convenient occurrence given the attitude of Cannes festival goers to pop stars moonlighting as film-makers. It has also been suggested that distributors will be watching some rough edited footage later this month- if this doesn€™t go well, the clamour for publicity could well see the movie return to the festival roster.

Ben Szwediuk hasn't written a bio just yet, but if they had... it would appear here.