DVD Review: THE B-MOVIE COLLECTION Boxset
Remember when B-Movies were B-Movies, or when George Clooney fought off killer tomatoes?
Remember when B-Movies were B-Movies?
Before Quentin Tarantino made them a ridiculously hip thing to try and emulate or pay homage to in the snide post-modern fashion of certain unimaginative new directors, B-Movies were a perfectly healthy sub-genre in themselves. But as soon as one auteur took it upon them-self to re-imagine the idea of B-Movies with a bigger budget, in an ill-advised attempt to achieve a genuine cross-over, the genre was doomed to suffer a million other sub-par copy-cat attempts.
There were a few admirable homages, including the vast majority of Tarantino's tomb of work, Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! and even Ellory Elkayem's Eight Legged Freaks which worked precisely because they referenced the characteristics of the original B-Movies, sticking to the artistic manifesto they brought to the table without meddling too much, even despite the obviously inflated budgets.
It was only when the new wave of "new B-Movies", including Lesbian Vampire Killers, Snakes on a Plane and very recently Bitch Slap, that the point was entirely missed. Rather than sticking to the rules of the B-Movie, these new pretenders believed that formula to be in some way broken, and set about fixing it in their own personal ways. And badly at that.
So thank God for the triumph of nostalgia in modern consumerism. Just when you think an important cultural legacy is being pissed on, and is in danger of disappearing entirely, someone brings out an exceptional boxset like The B-Movie Collection, due to be released on May 17th.
In celebration of the release by UK independent DVD distributors Boulevard Entertainment, I was sent three glorious examples of the B-Movie genre, all of which will be found as part of the boxset, and it is my unbridled pleasure to offer you the following mini reviews:
The best addition to the sprawling Elvira franchise, which admittedly may not be considered a massive achievement in some people's eyes, Mistress of the Dark came 18 years into the legendary Cassandra Peterson's career as the cult icon. As an indication of her success (and also of her undeniable willingness to self-publicise), Elvira has become as important, if not more important to the B-Movie genre as the dark mistress she owes a huge debt to the original horror hostess Vampira, played by Plan 9 From Outer Space legend Maila Nurmi. And she's far more than a pair of delectable boobs, too.
The film itself is a genre triumph, with just the right amount of schlock without ever treading into Ed Wood territory. The highlights, as ever are always close to Elvira's witty one-liners, and there is enough lunacy offered by the plot to entice even the most resistant of fans- seeing Elvira rap, and her fabulous nipple tassle show must forever fight each other for top billing though, and if I have to explain either, you're in the wrong place with this DVD boxset.
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes holds the not inconsiderable accolade of having spawned one of the truly greatest cartoons of all time. Not to mention the fact that it will live in infamy as one of the most recognisable names in the B-Movie canon: and for damn good reason. I would perhaps have preferred the original in this boxset, but the sequel is still well worth a watch. It is manically funny and deliriously strange in equal measure, and it really is an endless joy every time I stumble across it. If there were a formula for B-Movie titles, Return... would surely be held up as the pinnacle achievement in that particular realm.
And look out for a very young George Clooney. Proof if it were needed that he wasnt always as sexy as he is now, and hope for some of the more awkward looking fellas out there who are holding out for the year when they eventually grow into their looks.
A bona-fide classic. But again, I find myself complaining about the entirely unnecessary trend of re-releasing classic black and white films in colourised forms. I felt that It's A Wonderful Life suffered for the new transfer, but that failure was inconsequential to the problems thrown up by colourising Romero's ground-breaking first ...Of The Dead offering. The chief crime of the colourising is the fact that it robs the film of its authenticity- like with It's a Wonderful Life, Night of the Living Dead was designed to be a black and white movie, and the cinematography was geared towards achieving a certain atmospheric look in terms of the supposed restrictions of black and white cinema. Adding colour like a manic child with a crayon achieves nothing positive for that atmospheric tone- the result is that a deeply familiar and reliable film feels like a cheap imposter, sadly. It also infuriatingly (but mildly comicly) gives everyone the appearance that they are wearing Invisible Man style masks of paint or latex, which adds an unintentional creepiness to the whole affair.
These days, it probably isnt considered a real B-Movie anymore, because of the phenomenal mainstream success it and the rest of Romero's cult franchise, but the credentials are plainly visible, and despite the negative effect of the colourising, it admittedly adds to the B-Movie credentials. It lends Night of the Living Dead a new level of amateurism that definitely wasnt obvious in its original guise, and it is an intriguing development to watch on screen.
These three aren't the only films in the boxset, which, lined up like this, looks like one of the greatest B-Movie collections to hit shelves ever. How rare it is to get a collection that actually lives up to the billing. I have to admit that when I was only sent the three titles reviewed above, and before I had seen the full listing, I had a niggling feeling that they would be the only highlights of the set- but how wrong I turned out to be... The Creature Crocodile Elvira: Mistress of the Dark Hell Comes to Frogtown Night of the Living Dead (Colourised) Octopus Rats Return of the Killer Tomatoes Slugs Spiders The StuffEveryone with their finger on the B-Movie pulse knows that a sign of a sure-fire winner is a one word title, and extra points if its the name of an animal.Crocodile, Rats and Spiders live up to the expectation, going on personal experience (my brother had an unhealthy fascination with zoological B-Movie horrors for a while), and while I must confess that I havent seen Slugs, the very idea of it makes my toes curl in excited anticipation. And I will get to see it, because come May 17th, when The B-Movie Collection hits British shelves I will be searching it out as rabidly as a zombie on a brain-hunt.
To cater for all tastes, the boxset will actually be released in two forms, one in a sequentially numbered set, and the other as a digipack, for those of you who dont believe in the humble old DVD anymore (I am firmly in the first school). In addition every one of the films will be released individually, with the spines making up a big picture. I dont know about you, but that makes me froth.
And so, if only for restoring my faith in the B-Movie monicker, and for reminding us all that the B didnt stand for Bad, Boulevard Entertainment get a big thumbs up from me. Continue the good work.