Film4 Frightfest the 13th - Day 1
#2 - Cockneys vs. Zombies
rating: 3.5
A film far better than it has any right to be by title alone, Cockneys vs. Zombies is a riotously entertaining British zombie flick that rejuvenates a flagging genre with outrageous wit and voluminous gore, while taking a whistle-stop tour around London's East End. When two brothers, Terry and Andy, decide to rob a bank in order to ensure the welfare of their dear old grandad Ray (Alan Ford), they certainly bit off more than they could chew, as they, their sexy cousin (Michelle Ryan), a psychopath, and two bank employees emerge from the bank to discover that East London has been taken over by a zombie plague, which is quickly spreading throughout all of the capital. As they race to the nursing home to rescue Ray, they must find a way to escape this nightmare. This is horror comedy done so, so right after a plethora of abject failures such as Lesbian Vampire Killers and Strippers vs. Werewolves. It falls to Severance writer James Moran to inject some life back into the subgenre, moving swiftly on its feet, delivering a plethora of meta gags, cockney jibes, and quick-witted put-downs. Alongside this, Cockneys also functions as an efficient zombie film, generously doling out the gore once the preambles are done with, and not holding back, with exploding heads and limbs, and in one instance, an infant being kicked like a football. From way back in Braindead to the recent crop of horrors in the vein of Shaun of the Dead, adapting peculiar weaponry has always been a favourite for films like this, and no exception is made here; alligator shears and a zimmerframe are particularly well-utilised. What perhaps surprises most is how well put-together the whole shebang is; the title alone conjures expectations of a supremely low budget affair in the style of the lesser titles already mentioned, but Cockneys delivers some stultifying sights of London monuments aflame, and unleashes a pretty sizeable brand of firepower in its electric third act. Performances, while largely from relative unknowns, are strong, but it's Michelle Ryan and Alan Ford who run away with the picture as the sexy ass-kicker and badass geriatric respectively. Go in expecting nothing but a fun time, and you won't be disappointed. Cockneys vs. Zombies is released in UK cinemas Friday, August 31st.Grabbers also showed later on in the evening - and indeed, with its premise of aliens who are allergic to alcohol, sounded hilarious - but not living in London, we had to give it a miss to (narrowly) make it out of the city before public transport shut down for the night. Twitter reports suggest that it went down a treat, however. Check back tomorrow when we'll have a shedload more reviews, including Michael Beihn's directorial debut The Victim, the much-hyped found footage anthology V/H/S, and the latest entry into Spain's hottest horror series, 3: Genesis.