4. The Armor Gets Jealous
Unlike Bruce Wayne, Tony doesnt just act like a playboy, he flat-out
is. Even in the comics, hes constantly seducing women, even going after some of his fellow Avengers like Black Widow and the Wasp, or supervillains like Madame Masque and Sunset Bain. Tony gets a lot of action is what Im saying. And when youre a player, sometimes that means you have to deal with a jealous ex-girlfriend. Except its very rare for that jealous ex-girlfriend to be a suit of armor. In Mask in the Iron Man, Tonys armor gets struck by lightning on New Years Eve, which combined with the Y2K bug, brings his armor to life (again, this requires a PhD in Theoretical Superhero Physics to understand, so just trust me that the science backs this up). Despite some initial awkwardness when the armor compares how it feels for Tony to Tonys love for his girlfriend, Rumiko, Tony decides to try working with a sentient suit. At first, it handles well, until they go up against Whiplash and the armor takes control, killing the criminal without any thought. Horrified by the armors actions, Tony starts to have second thoughts. And this only makes the armor start to go all Fatal Attraction on its creator, trying to hold him prisoner, threatening his girlfriend, and when Tony puts on an older Iron Man suit, the sentient armor goes completely nuts with jealousy. The armor takes Tony to a deserted island and basically gives him the if I cant have you, no one can speech. Don't hate the player - hate the game. After some brief attempts to destroy the armor, Tony suffers a heart attack and the armor sacrifices itself to save him. And in a totally bizarre moment, Tony tries to convince the armor to let him save its life! Tony, just quit while youre ahead!
Likelihood: Paul Bettany probably has a clause in his contract guaranteeing that he won't be forced to utter some of the lines from this story. Nevertheless, we
have seen the armor menacing Pepper in the trailers, so who knows?